Moving to wordpress

So I have decided to move my blog to word press. I want to have some of my personal feelings and thoughts to not be visible for the public. I am using word press, for then I can have some posts protected, so only readers who have my password, with my permission can read them, but still keep some stuff visible for everybody.

My new blog is similar to this blog which is called:
thegabourysfamilyof6.wordpress.com (you can also click on the link I have in the upper right side of my blog which is called My Ethiopian Adventure).
If you would like to read my protected posts please send me an e-mail at gabourycarpentry@sasktel.net and I can then send you the password.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think that adoption would be this hard. It is hard beyond words can express. Some days are good and other days are bad and I get really angry with the whole adoption process. I wish this adoption wasn't taking so long. By the time we are finished with this process it will be close to 3 years.

Court is 7 days away. I am having a hard time understanding that if the birth family couldn't make it on the first court date how can they be able to make it for any other court dates. It is really stressing me out.

I want my kids home with us sooner rather than later. I am having a hard time understanding why they would be better off in an orphanage rather than at home where they belong. I want court to pass. I want immigration medicals done. And visas done so we can finally meet our kids.

Court date

So I am sad to say that we did not pass court. The birth Grandmother didn't make it to court so we didn't pass. We have another court date scheduled for February 24th. I have been warned that this could take a while. They really want the birth family to show up for court and they will give them numerous chances (Up to five or six )to appear in court. So we could be at this for a while.


I good friend of mine reminded me of the positive side of this. She reminded me that MOWA showed up for court and our 2nd court date is only 12 days away. So again we count down the days. I never wished that I could speed up time as much as I do right now.

FAMILY

My dad made it home from the hospital today. Hurray!!! Thank god. I know my dad(and all the families involved) has had a lot of stress in their lives since Uncle Brian and Uncle Gordon pass away. When we were growing up it was always with either Uncle Brian and his family or Uncle Gordon and his family. They were like my 2nd and 3rd fathers. They both passed away very fast. Oh, how we all miss the little things. I miss uncle Brian's sense of humor. He was a little ruff around the edges but so soft and caring inside. I miss the way he would tease the kids and I am sad that he is not here to see my kids and who they will become. Uncle Gordon I miss you just as much. I miss his love for kids and he was also always teasing and bugging the kids. He had such a soft and gentle heart.



I get really worried when someone I love is sick. I am a worrier. I worry about everyone in my family. When they are sick, I worry, when they are healthy I worry. When they are sad I worry. I get that pretty honestly from my mother, she is a worrier. She would really like this blog to be private for she doesn't like the fact that anyone can read it and I do agree with her for the most part. I wouldn't like just anyone to ready my personal thoughts and I guess I forget that it isn't private and that anyone can read my thoughts, so eventually I will go private, but not for a while.

I love my family to pieces and I cannot imagine my life without any one of them. They mean the world to me and I have a hard time some times telling my family how much they mean to me and how much I really love them. Growing up dad always showed his love by punching us or tormenting us (in a kidding kind of way) and that was his way of telling us kids that he loved us, and we did the same to him.

P.S. ONLY 3 DAYS LEFT UNTIL OUR COURT DATE.....

Vacation to Mexico, Mazatlan.

So our flights are booked. We are leaving on April 15th and coming back on April 22nd. We are leaving Saskatoon at 10:15am and getting to Mexico at 2:30pm. We are flying west jet. We are staying in Mazatlan. Our hotel is El Cid Castilla Beach Hotel. I am so excited. I can't imagine what we will do for a whole week with out driving each other completely bonkers, but it will be great. All inclusive for like 650 per person. We upgraded to a nicer hotel across the street. I am glad.

It's great to have something else to think about besides adoption. I mean don't get me wrong, our kids are ALWAYS on my mind, but now there is something else to plan and get excited about.

Tomorrow is 5 months since our referral and it seems like we have known about our kids forever. They are in Ethiopia waiting for the day that we get to pick them up. I am so ready for that day to become a reality. I know that the day when we get to meet our kids and take custody of them is going to be the best day ever and our dreams will finally become reality.

We went to the hair dresser's yesterday to get our hair cut(me an the girls). Holly was telling the hair dresser that she has a brother and sister. She looked at me surprised, so I had to explain that we were adopting and that I was not pregnant with twins. I am in awe that she talks about her brother and sister like they were here. It makes me want to cry. I so badly want them here to start living our lives as a family of 6. Anyhow the girls look so cute in their new hair dues.

We have been searching the Internet trying to look for a get-a-way to some place warm. There was another adoptive couple that was going to come with us. But it didn't work out so we are going solo. I am kind of sad that we will not be going away with them. We have come up with a fight to Mexico. An all inclusive vacation non stop flight for 7 days for 584 per person. Wow. What a deal. We cannot pass that up. Kind of weary on leaving the kids for 7 days, but I know they will be very well looked after. It will be a trial run for when we have to go to Ethiopia. We have never been away from our girls for more than 3 days. Since we started this adoption we have really been needing a vacation, due to all the stress that is involved in an adoption. It really consumes your whole life. Everything is revolved around when our kids our COMING.

I am still in shock that we finally got a court date. I cannot believe in 12 days we have our court date. I so hope we pass on the first try, but I am preparing myself that if we don't pass I will still be ok. Just knowing that things are happening and that one day they will be ours is what I am hanging on to. I still hope to be traveling this summer , but we will see. Visas are taking longer and I am mad about that. Once our kids are legally ours, I just want to fly to Ethiopia to go get them and not have to wait for some stinking visas which are taking anywhere for 8-18 weeks. Which is way to long.

Laura and Craig and Meagan and Kyle came over on Saturday and Spent the night. They phoned Saturday morning to let us know that they were coming that day. So I had to majorly clean up my house. The girls all played so good together. They were so loud but a happy loud, way better than angry, loud.

I am so glad to say that January is done. I felt like it was a stressful month. I am so glad to say that it is Feburary. Gracie has a valentines party on Febuary 11at school, so she is very excited about that.

Court date

WE FINALLY GOT OUR COURT DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just got a call from CAFAC, informing us that we have a court date for February 13th. I am soooooooo excited. I cannot wait. I have been looking forward to some good news for quiet some time.

We had Neil's birthday party yesterday. It was storming in Saskatoon, so there were a lot of people that couldn't make it. Saskatoon got about 20 cms of snow. We were looking forward to seeing everybody but we understand that they couldn't make it and they were not recommending travel. We had veggies and fruit and cold cuts and chips and crackers and cake. It was yummy. We have lots left over, but we can freeze most of it, so that's ok.

We finally got our counter tops installed on Friday. They are beautiful. We waited 6 weeks for them.



Chances of us hearing any news about court this months isn't looking good. Come on already, on February 8th it will be 5 months waiting for court. That's just about 1/2 a year. That is ridiculously WAY to long... I am at my wits end. I cannot take any more set backs. I JUST WANT SOME REASSURANCE THAT WE ARE MOVING FORWARD WITH OUR ADOPTION. I WANT A COURT DATE PRONTO....

We are sending a care package to our kids, through another adoptive mother we got in contact with, which I am extremely grateful for. So we are sending an out fit, coloring book and crayons, small stuffed animal, balloons, candy, a necklace for K and cars for A and clips for K and some pictures.

Adopting Haitian Earthquake Orphans

I find it frustrating when people think that you can just go to Haiti and pick a child to adopt and bring him/her home. If only is was that simple. You just cannot skip certain steps in the adoption process because of a earthquake, it just doesn't work that way. Yes if you are the process of adopting and our close to being complete they could help to bring the children to their parents. Adoption is a complex an time consuming process. So it really ticks me off when people who have no clue what goes on in the adoption process assume that it would be so easy to adopt from Haiti, because of the devastating earthquake.


The adopting process has to have completed the following:
Choose and agency for both in province and child's country
register and complete workbook
Fill out and return provincial application forms and agency form/fee/contract
send agency fee for social worker
medical reports
provide references
Home study - complete meetings with social worker/adoption practitioner
criminal records
child abuse registry check
financial statement/letter of employment/summary of income tax
Letter of application to the country
birth certificate
marriage certificates
physician reports
immigration(apply for sponsorship kit for a family class member
send away application and receive child's application package
dossier which include: notarization of documents, provincial certification,embassy authentication, translation done in the Country, passport, visa application, and immunizations for travel.
Referral( sign forms accepting the child and sent back to the child's country, send fees)
Final adoption arrangements(receive news to travel, confirm flight plans, purchase tickets, send for travel visas,
While in the country we need (The child's birth certificate, passport, immunization record, transit visas for the trip home to Canada, adoption decree and translated official copy, and Canadian landed immigrant visa to enter Canada.
Once we arrive home we need to:
Get medical testing/doctors appointment, apply to provincial medical plan, apply for family tax credit, vital stats for name change, if needed, apply for Canadian citizenship, arrange for development assessment, notify agency of safe return an arrange for post placement visits at our own cost.
These all have to be done to complete and adoption and I know that I forgot some.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NEIL!!!!!!!!!!!!
My hubby turns 40 today. Neil has requested that I make him a cake. So this year I am going to attempt to make a birthday cake. Usually we buy the birthday cake from our store in town. Hopefully it will not be a total disaster, fingers crossed.

I have been searching my house, tearing it apart trying to look for Neil's passport. I know that I used it for immigration as they needed a photo copy of it. I talked to our agency and asked them to e-mail the photo copy of Neil's passport, as we were going to issue a new one. So I am going crazy in my head trying to think where it could be, this is an important document. I searched all through my house, so if I cannot find it I will have to issue a new one. We really didn't want to do this. We found it last night in the bottom of a box of papers we had in the basement that we were going to through away. Luckily nobody threw the box away.

I am feeling very frustrated because every time I talk to our agency they will not give me a definite answer.
Has court been applied for?
Is all our paperwork in order?
I mean clear straight forward yes or no answers. I feel like punching something. I need a punching bag to get rid of my frustration. I cannot believe that 4 and a half months and we still don't know if court has been applied for. That is just way to long. This week has been the longest that I have struggled with since a very long time. Before referral was hard but nothing compared to this. I really really want a court date.


I am preparing a party for Neil's 40th birthday. He is struggling with turning 40. He keeps saying that he is getting old. His birthday is actually on January 18th but we are having a party on the 23rd. I am super excited about this party. There is going to be quite a few people that we haven't seen in a long time. We usually don't get very much company so I am excited.

Last night Gracie was awake, she had a bad dream. She was up most of the night. Then finally she crawled in bed with us. We are all tired today, not much going on.

Yesterday Neil's brother came over with their kids( all teenagers) and Holly and Gracie were very shy. Holly hid under the couch and cried the whole time they were here, how embarrassing. She would not come out. Gracie wasn't as shy, she at least wasn't under the couch crying. She would at least talk to them.

It has been really nice outside all week, which is a change to the normal -30 to -40 degree weather we usually get in January. We have been loving it and have been outside every day.

Not much in the adoption world lately. I was hoping to hear of a court date this week, but it doesn't look like we will have one. I really hope we get a court date soon, I really hate waiting.

Yesterday was Christmas in Ethiopia which is called (Melkam Genna). We did not celebrate the Ethiopian Christmas this year. Next year we plan on it. We plan on making a traditional Ethiopian meal. I have yet to try cooking any Ethiopian food, so hopefully I will not screw it up too bad.

Our kids will be old enough so they can help prepare and decorate how they remember Melkam Genna to be. It's a day to celebrate their heritage, which is important. To remember their birth country and where they came from.

Today marks 4 months since we got our referral of our beautiful children. It just makes me wish even more that they were here with their family, where they belong. I cannot wait to meet them.

We were told by our agency that court will be SOON. I am really starting to hate the word SOON. Every time I ask about court they tell me SOON.

We finally got our update on our kids today. Our last one was 2 months ago and the one before was 2 months ago as well so they are averaging about every 2 months.

Some time this summer all of the stress and agony of this adoption will be done and we can focus on living as a family of 6.

Once we get home with our children we are required to do updates on the kids. For the first three we have to get a social worker to come to our home and complete it
which will cost at least 250 dollars each, depending on mileage. After that we have to do the updates ourselves yearly until the children are 18 years old.

Today my heart goes out to the adoptions that fell through within the last couple of days. I cannot imagine the pain that they are feeling right now. I don't know what I would do if this happened to us. Just imagine. You get the phone call you have been dreaming about, finally get your referral. Got a couple of court dates and then you get the dreaded phone call that your kids you have been dreaming and planning for isn't going to happen because the birth mother changed her mind..

This whole adoption process is so hard, and wonderful and scary and you really don't know from one day to the next what is going to happen...

We picked up our stove today and we set up the island. It sure shrinks our kitchen. Before it seemed so huge. The girls had fun running from wall to wall. Now that we put the island in they cannot do that so easily.

Just wanted to let everybody know that we have not heard anything (adoption related, like we were promised). We were hoping to get a court date before the new year. That didn't happen. I am very hopeful that a court date will be issued in January.

It is very hard not being able to tell people anything. Everybody asks if we heard anything and we have to reply NO.... I am stressed because I don't know anything. I am a planner. I want to know everything. I had to know with the girls what sex they were so we could plan the bedrooms, the names, and even a c-section date was planned. This is so much harder than being pregnant. Emotionally I am exhausted.


So to take my mind off of the adoption we have been busy with our house. Our stove is in and we can put the finishing touches to our kitchen/dining room renovation. Monday we are picking up our stove and putting up the island. All that's left is the counter tops.